Nurse, what can I do now that my baby is in the NICU?

The best thing you can do for your baby is to start pumping for milk!

Nurse

These were the exact words exchanged with the nurse when Baby Chunbao was first admitted to the NICU.

I was horrendous, worried, and lost.

I didn’t get to see my new baby (Chunbao was immediately transferred to the Children’s Hospital) and now you’re telling me to hook up my breasts to a cold machine? I dreaded it, but pumping was really the only thing I could do during the first couple of NICU days and I’m glad I did just that.

_{This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.}

Importance of breast milk for a NICU baby

Regardless of what made your baby whisked away to the NICU, breast milk is the optimal food. It has infection-fighting antibodies not found in formula that prevent the baby from getting sick.

Breast milk contains just the right amount of nutrients to help the baby grow and develop.

For a low birth weight baby like my son, fortified breast milk may be fed in order to make the breast milk more caloric. Baby Chunbao was being fed my fortified breast milk through the feeding tube for almost 6 weeks in the NICU.

He didn’t need a lot of milk, due to his very low birth weight, so I was able to pump up a mini freezer stash for him as he grows bigger.

How to increase milk supply when baby is in the NICU

Building breastmilk supply is hard work, especially having to deal with the emotional and physical stress a NICU baby can bring.

However, for me, having a sick baby gave me the extra willpower to pump.

Be sure to take good care of your body by following this postpartum care plan if you have a vaginal delivery.

Building up milk supply does not happen overnight. It is a process that takes persistence and determination. Once I have that goal in mind, below are the 13 things I’ve done to boost (and maintain) my milk supply.

Tip #1: Get a good double electric breast pump

If you’re wondering how to get milk to come in when baby is in the NICU, the answer is you need to start pumping.

Since your baby is unable to breastfeed, you need to do whatever you can to express your breastmilk.

Double electric pumps offer the convenience of time-saving by pumping both breasts at the same time. You also want to choose a good pump to effectively drain the breasts.

The NICU most likely has hospital-grade pumps for moms to use while visiting the baby so we mommies don’t need to haul our own pump when we visit. The golden standard of hospital-grade pumps is the Medela Symphony breast pump. Looks familiar?

I was using the Medela Symphony pump at the NICU and switched to the Spectra S2 electric pump at home. I noticed a difference in supply output because the Medela is just a lot more powerful than my Spectra pump. The very next day, I went ahead and rented a Medela Symphony pump so I could use it at home.

The Medela Symphony pump is a $2000 beast so it’s just better for our wallets to rent it. Some hospitals loan pumps so call your hospital if you need to rent one. I rent mine at a local mother/baby shop at a cheaper price. So, check and see if your nearby baby store offers the pump for rent!

Tip #2: Listen to hypnotizing music

For 2 days postpartum, I religiously pumped every 2.5 hours for at least 15 minutes. Nothing came out. My nipples were as dry and cracked as ever. I scoured all over the internet looking for pumping tips and came across this hypnosis for breastfeeding.

I’m not a meditation soul, nor a believer in hypnosis. However, I found this guided meditation music very relaxing. My milk started to come in soon after I started listening to this video when I pumped.

Tip #3: Drink Mother’s Milk Women’s Tea

Every one of my mama friends drank the Mother’s Tea for milk supply so undoubtedly, I stocked them when I was still pregnant.

The organic tea blend contains milk-boosting herbs such as fennel and fenugreek.

I usually brew a tea bag and sip it throughout the day when visiting my baby in the NICU. I found the tea pleasant by itself but sometimes, I add a bit of honey to sweeten it up. On occasion, I would drink it again after I get home from the hospital.

RELATED POST: 5 Incredible Mother’s Milk Tea Benefits: Discover Why Nursing Moms Swear By It

Tip #4: Pumping schedule to produce more breast milk

Milk supply is based on a supply-and-demand basis. The more you pump (emptying your breasts), the more your breasts will produce milk.

Some key points to keep in mind:

• Pump as often as baby would be eating (every 2 to 3 hours).
• It’s hard, but try to pump at least twice during the night.
• Pump for around 15 to 20 minutes each session.
• Pump for 2 additional minutes after breastmilk has stopped flowing. Do not overpump.
• Don’t give up pumping until your supply is established. It could take anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks until your milk supply is well established. When you see a drop in supply, increase pumping frequency until your supply is back up again.

Power pumping is another pumping technique moms often do to increase milk production. The rationale behind it also based on supply-and-demand by repeatedly emptying breast milk and signaling the body to produce more milk quickly.

It takes 1 hour to do so with the schedule as such: Double pump for 20 minutes, rest for 10 minutes, pump for 10 minutes, rest for 10 minutes, pump for 10 minutes.

Here is my typical pumping schedule while Baby Chunbao was in the NICU.

Tip #5: Massage breasts while you pump

In my post on surviving the NICU, I mentioned massaging the breasts while pumping in order to get more breast milk out.

It was very noticeable that more milk streaked out when I applied pressure to my breasts while pumping. Watch this video on how to do hands-free massage. you’ll also need a hands-free pumping kit in order to effectively massage breasts while pumping.

Tip #6: Use fenugreek supplement to overcome low milk supply

This milk-boosting powerhouse is a must for any mom looking to increase her milk production.

Fenugreek has been used for centuries as a galactagogue. Although a few studies have shown mixed results, I personally find it effective in boosting my milk supply.

I religiously took 2 capsules with every meal and noticed an increase in milk production within days. By the way, I choose Nature’s Way brand because they are reputable and non-GMO.

Tip #7: How to resolve plugged ducts fast

Plugged ducts usually feel like hard tender swelling in the breast that can sometimes be painful. If left untreated, clogged ducts may lead to mastitis which is a nasty infection that requires hospitalization. 

Plugged ducts happen with poor milk drainage from the breasts. If milk is not drained completely, how do you expect our breasts to produce more milk?

So, plugged ducts require immediate attention so that it doesn’t hurt our milk supply.

The number one thing to resolve plugged ducts is to apply moist heat to the breast. The moment you feel those lumps in your breasts apply a heated towel to your breasts for a minute or two before pumping.

How I manage to do this in the NICU?

I bought two small towels and a Tupperware for the hospital. Prior to visiting my son’s room, I fill the Tupperware (with the towels inside) with hot water from the NICU breakroom. Close the Tupperware lid and off we go to see our son.

I tried my best to wring the towels from the hot water and apply them to my breasts.

Tip #8: Lecithin supplement

Even with all that pumping, I tend to get recurrent clogged ducts easily.

Besides applying a heated towel and massaging my breasts prior to pumping, I also took lecithin every day. Lecithin lessens the thickness of breast milk, allowing the milk to flow more easily.

For plugged ducts, it is recommended to take 3600-4800 mg lecithin per day for 3-4 times a day. If plugged ducts are resolved, lecithin intake can be reduced to 1 time a day.

I did notice my plugged ducts went away when I took it and came back on the days I didn’t take it. The effect is pretty significant!

If you are worried about side effects, lecithin is a common food additive so it’s completely safe for breastfeeding/pumping moms. As with any nutritional supplement, do not take more than the recommended dose.

Tip #9: Eat a protein-rich diet

The mechanism of breast milk production requires a lot of energy from the body. Every ounce of breast milk burns about 20 calories!

What’s more to supplement that burnt calories? Proteins.

Our Children’s Hospital offers 1 free meal a day for breastfeeding/pumping moms so I took total advantage of that. The menu offers a variety of proteins such as turkey sandwiches, omelets, chili, mac n cheese, pasta, etc.

Ensure to incorporate lots of protein either from meat or vegetable sources like beans and legumes in every meal. You may also feel hungry more often because of all the burnt calories from pumping and breastfeeding. Great choices of snacks to munch on between meals are nuts, hard-boiled eggs, and protein bars.

These organic vegan protein bars from Orgain are not only yummy but each bar contains 10 grams of clean protein.

Tip #10: Drink lots of water

Water is the main ingredient in breast milk so no water, no breast milk.

It’s easy to forget drinking water with all that traveling to the hospital, kangaroo care, getting updates on your baby’s health, pumping, and the list goes on…

To ensure that I get at least 64 ounces of water a day, I got myself a 50oz tumbler to sip throughout the day. With this tumbler, I know that I need one and a half bottles full of water to meet my daily quota.

Tip #11: Drink lots of bone soup

In Traditional Chinese Medicine dated more than 3000 years back, bone soup, especially whole fish soup in combination with certain foods, is said to boost milk supply.

It is a popular Asian practice that new moms to drink bone soup every day for at least 3 months postpartum.

The idea behind it is that since breast milk is 88% water, drinking bone soup ensures moms get enough water with added proteins and minerals for their milk production. A well-known Asian milk-boosting soup is the pork feet soup.

Nowadays, bone broths are readily available. My favorite is the Kettle and Fire classic chicken bone broth that comes in individual cartons. I just heat it in the hospital’s microwave and I get to enjoy a steamy mug of bone broth in practically no time.

Tip #12: Sports Drink

The rationale behind drinking sports beverages to increase milk production is similar to that of consuming bone soup as I mentioned above. You want to get in as much liquid as possible since breastmilk is 88% water.

The extra minerals and electrolytes in sports beverages like Gatorade and Poweraid add extra nutrients in breast milk production. Myths have it that the red Poweraid is the best amongst sports drinks to boost milk supply so that was what I drank during my baby’s NICU stays.

Tip #13: Drink collagen-rich fish and green papaya soup

Fish and green papaya soup is a well-known breastmilk-boosting soup in Asian culture.

Ingredients: Medium-sized whole fish including head and tail (preferably carp fish), half of a green papaya, ginger slices, handful of peanuts, 4 liters of water, a dash of salt, dates (optional), goji berries (optional).

Note: live whole fish can be easily found in any Asian market.

Directions:

1. Clean fish.
2. Boil water and add ginger and peanuts.
3. Cut the papaya into squares and discard seeds. Add papaya and fish into the boiling pot.
4. Add optional dates and goji berries.
5. Turn down to low heat and cook covered for 4 hours.
6. Add salt to taste prior to serving.

My mom would make a huge pot of the fish and green papaya soup enough for me to consume for 3 days!

Conclusion on how to increase milk supply when baby is in the NICU

It was incredibly difficult for me to pump every 2.5 hours with a baby in the NICU. But, I never strayed away from my determination to pump more milk because I wanted my sick baby to get the best nutrition.

Just believe that you are strong and you can build up an abundant supply of breast milk too.

The hospital’s lactation consultant is a great resource too.

Do you find these tips helpful in increasing your milk supply for your NICU baby? What other tips have you done to overcome low milk supply?

Let me know by leaving a comment below.

Related articles:

• The ultimate guide to surviving the NICU
• How I overcame the NICU mom guilt while surviving the NICU twice
• What you need to do before bringing your baby home from the NICU
• 17 Best Preemie Clothes For NICU That Are Perfect For Your Littlest One
• Best infant toys of all times (updated for 2023)

The post 13 Proven Tips to Increase milk supply when baby is in the NICU appeared first on SoCal Mommy Life.

These clothes are designed to be comfortable and NICU-safe so your little one can feel at their best while they’re in the hospital. Plus, they’re cute too! So read on to learn more.

_{This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.}

Do Preemies Wear Clothes In the NICU?

Most people are familiar with the image of a baby swaddled in a blanket, but what about preemies? Do they wear clothes in the NICU?

The answer is both yes and no.

While most preemies do spend some time in clothes, they may also be placed in special “preemie garments” or even just diapers. It all depends on the individual baby’s needs.

Baby W didn’t wear clothes for the first half of his residence in the NICU. He had umbilical lines going into his belly and had to wear a full-body harness to correct his hips. Wearing clothes would be impossible.

As for Baby Madi, she wore preemie clothes from day 1 because her treatment was less intensive.

In general, however, the main priority for preemies is to maintain a stable body temperature. That’s why many of them are placed under heated lamps or in incubators. Clothing can help to keep a baby warm, but it’s not always necessary. In the end, whatever keeps a preemie safe and comfortable is what’s best.

Your baby’s nurse will be able to give you the green light to dress your preemie.

When Do Preemies Start Wearing Clothes?

It’s never too early to start dressing your baby in cute clothes! However, if you have a preemie, you’ll need to take a few extra factors into consideration.

Preemies are often born prematurely and may have delicate skin that is susceptible to infection. In addition, they may need special care to maintain their body temperature. For these reasons, it’s important to consult with your child’s doctor before dressing them in clothes.

In general, most preemies can start wearing clothes when they are placed in an open crib (usually around 35 weeks). At this stage, they usually no longer need the extra warmth of an incubator and their skin is less fragile.

What Is The Weight For Preemie Clothes?

Preemie clothes are sized for babies who weigh between 4 and 7 pounds.

These clothes are usually smaller in width and length than regular newborn clothes, but they often have similar features like snaps or zippers.

While some brands size their preemie clothes by weight, others use a general “preemie” size. If you’re not sure what size to buy, check with the NICU nurse. Keep in mind that your baby may grow quickly, so purchase the larger size if you’re uncertain what size your preemie should wear.

How Many Outfits Does a Preemie Need?

A good general rule of thumb is to have one outfit for every day that your baby is expected to stay in the hospital. Of course, you’ll also want to have a few extras on hand in case of accidents or spills. And it’s always a good idea to have at least one outfit that can be used for going home.

To complement your preemie’s outfit, have 2 – 3 pairs of baby mittens and 1 hat per day. Mittens protect your baby’s skin from scratching and the hat keeps your baby’s head warm.

Those tiny mittens are easy to get lost, special if you have white ones that happen to be the same color as hospital sheets. So, be sure to pack a few colored mittens per day.

RELATED POST: The Ultimate Guide To Surviving The NICU

Tips On Packing Preemie Outfits For The NICU

It’s important to remember that space is limited in the NICU. That’s why I recommend packing two PBA-free gallon-size freezer bags: one for clean clothes and one for dirty clothes. Label each bag with your baby’s name, and pack two days’ worth of outfits in the clean bag. At the end of each day, simply throw your baby’s clothes for that day in the dirty bag.

This system will help keep your baby’s clothes organized and prevent them from getting lost in the hospital.

What To Consider When Buying NICU Clothes

When selecting clothes for your preemie, look for soft fabrics that won’t irritate their skin. It’s also important to choose items that are easy to put on and take off, as you’ll be spending a lot of time changing diapers!

You don’t need to buy a lot of NICU preemie clothes

The truth is that you probably won’t need to buy lots of clothes for your preemie while they’re in the NICU. Preemies grow quickly, so they’ll likely outgrow any clothes you do bring before long. Instead, leave room in the budget for larger sizes; your preemie will be wearing regular baby clothes before you know it.

I only got Baby W six new preemie outfits – 2 short sleeve bodysuits, 2 long sleeve bodysuits, and 2 long sleeve wrap shirts. He wore these interchangeably with newborn clothes I already have. It was perfectly enough during his months-long stay in the NICU.

Look for preemie clothes designed for easy access

If your baby is in the NICU, chances are they have wires attached to their body. Choose clothes that are easy to access these lines because the nurse will need to adjust them often.

Baby W had a bunch of electrodes on his chest to monitor his vitals so I opted for wrap closure and side snaps clothes.

Baby Madi, on the other hand, only had a pulse oximeter attached to her foot so she was able to wear onesies.

Whatever you have may work already

You may have newborn clothes from the baby registry or from hand-me-downs. Whatever you have may work already so be sure to look into your baby’s wardrobe to see if there are any clothes your preemie baby can wear.

Best Places To Buy Preemie NICU Clothing

Amazon

Amazon is hands-down the best place to buy preemie clothes for NICU. It offers fast delivery and free shipping for Prime members, making it easy and affordable to stock up on everything you need. You can find all sorts of preemie clothes here in varying sizes and materials.

Target

Target doesn’t have as fast of shipping times as Amazon but their prices are typically lower. They carry many brands so there are many selections to choose from.

Baby Gap

Baby Gap has a smaller selection but their clothes tend to be of higher quality. Shipping can take a while unless you have time to shop in stores.

Carter’s

Carter’s offers a wide selection of cute preemie clothes. Shipping can take a while but it’s worth visiting if you have a Carter’s nearby.

RELATED POST: 13 Tips to pump more milk for the NICU baby

Best Preemie NICU Clothing

Best Everyday Preemie Clothes To Wear In The NICU

Must-have accessories for the NICU preemie

Preemie Clothes For Baby Boys

Preemie Clothes For Baby Girls

Organic Preemie Clothes

RELATED POST: 8 Things to do before bringing baby home from the NICU

Best Clothes For Preemies To Sleep In

Preemies normally don’t wear sleep sacks in the NICU, but be sure to purchase one or two for when your baby goes home!

Here are the best sleep sacks to keep your baby from getting cold.

Last Thing You Need to Know About Preemie Clothes For NICU

Buying clothes for a NICU baby can be an emotional experience. For parents who have been anxiously waiting to see their child in anything other than a diaper, buying preemie clothes is a major milestone.

It’s one more step closer to going home and it also feels like you are finally able to do something normal as a parent. Remember that preemies have very sensitive and delicate skin, so you will want to wash your baby’s clothes in a laundry detergent that is fragrance and dye-free.

Tell me by leaving a message below about your experience buying clothes for your preemie in the NICU.

Best Preemie Clothes For NICU Related Posts

• The Ultimate Guide To Surviving The NICU
• 13 Tips To Pump More Milk For The NICU Baby
• How to Conquer the NICU Mom Guilt While Surviving the NICU
• 8 Things To Do Before Bringing Baby Home From The NICU
• Best Infant Toys Of All Times
• 21 Brain-Boosting Developmental Activities For Infants (0-3 Months)

The post 17 Best Preemie Clothes For NICU That Are Perfect For Your Littlest One appeared first on SoCal Mommy Life.

You may be unsure of yourself and the decisions you’re making.

But don’t worry – those feelings are totally normal!

You are not alone in your journey. As a twice NICU mom, I understand the struggle to find your footing and conquer any persistent feeling of NICU mom guilt that can creep up on us when our baby is on this difficult journey with us.

And as we know all too well, raising a premature baby comes with its own unique challenges.

In this blog post, I am excited to share 11 tips that have helped me work through my own feelings of guilt while navigating life in the NICU.

What is the average time parents spend with their baby in the NICU

Although statistics might show that moms visit their NICU babies 6.2 days per week (4.7 days for dads), it’s important to remember that everyone’s situation is different. If you live far away, have other kids at home, or just need some rest, then your availability will vary – and that’s okay!

Take into consideration your own individual needs and limitations when deciding what works best for you. Additionally, keep in mind the average number of days premature babies spend in the NICU, which is 13.2 days.

It can be a long road, so make sure to take care of yourself along the way.

Do NICU babies have attachment issues?

Research shows that infants who spend time in the NICU are 6.1 times more likely to have problems forming attachments during their early years compared to those who did not spend time in the NICU. This means that it is important to take steps to reduce the chances it will occur.

Both of my kids were swept away right after they were born. I was only able to hold Madi for 3 minutes until she was transferred to the NICU. As for W, I didn’t even see him for the first time until 2 days later.

From there on, staying close to them while they developed in the NICU became a priority for me; not only because I wanted them to know that they were loved, but also so that I could make peace with my NICU mom guilt.

Holding my infants in kangaroo care, talking and singing to them gave me solace and a connection that got us all through those days when being apart felt impossible.

NICU baby bonding tips

Creating a connection with your baby in the NICU can be an emotional roller coaster – from feeling helpless to burdened by guilt. However, there are plenty of ways to form those much-needed bonds despite any physical boundaries (the incubator, lines, and tubes) that may seem demanding.

Visit your baby every day

Even if your baby is in the incubator and you can’t touch or hold her, she knows you are there for her.

Always wash your hands before vising your baby. Never stroke a preemie’s skin since they are not fully developed yet. You want to touch your baby to make her feel calm, cared for, and loved.

Feed your baby

Feeding is an important component whether you breastfeed or use bottles.

The instinct to survive is a powerful force that runs through every living creature, but it manifests itself differently in us humans. For us, feeding is fundamental to the sense of security we get from the ones who take care of us in our early years — namely, our parents.

A mother’s bond with her newborn baby through bottle-feeding or breastfeeding brings about comfort and trust between them. The baby becomes familiar with their food and also the face of their parent; it creates a lasting connection of love and security.

Do the kangaroo care

Doing skin-to-skin with your baby benefits both mom and baby. It increased our milk supply, while stabilizes the baby’s heart and respiratory rates, and improves oxygen saturation rates. Pretty cool right?

Ask your NICU nurse for a comfortable reclining nursing chair. I didn’t find out that our NICU has it weeks after until one of the nurses asked me if I want to sit in one!

If your baby’s condition allows, do at least 30 minutes every skin-to-skin session. During our NICU stay, Baby W feeds every 3 hours. Since he always falls asleep on my bare chest, we do skin-to-skin about an hour before his feeding time so that he can feed after a good hour-long sleep.

Try to spend time bonding with your baby as much as possible. But being a NICU mom doesn’t have to be filled with stress, guilt, or pressure — there are plenty of things you can do every day that will help alleviate anxiety and provide relief from this overwhelming season of life. Continue reading for my best tips to overcome the NICU mom guilt.

11 Tips to conquer the NICU mom guilt

Know that your baby won’t remember the NICU time

Every day spent in the NICU feels like an eternity but when you look at it from your baby’s entire lifetime, it’s only a tiny fraction of their lifespan.

W had a whole bunch of IV lines going into his wrists and belly button. He was intubated and had sensors attached to his tiny head for stroke surveillance. And if that’s not enough torture for my 4-pounder, he wore a harness for his hip dysplasia that immobilized him for 12 weeks.

As a mother, it broke my heart to witness all the pain my precious NICU baby had to endure.

Despite spending the first months of his life in a hospital, W has grown into an incredibly brave five-year-old. If there’s a silver lining to his NICU stay, I’d say that he faces all doctor’s visits and immunization shots head-on with no fear!

Your baby is getting the best care possible

You can rest assured knowing that your bundle of joy is in the best hands. The team of dedicated professionals in the NICU has a wealth of experience and knowledge to make sure that your baby is receiving top-notch care. They will be with you every step of the way and make sure that your little one gets all the attention, treatment, and extra love they need to grow up healthy and strong.

You can rest easy knowing that your baby is getting the best care possible, allowing you the peace of mind to focus on other things such as increasing your milk supply.

You are not alone

If you are feeling guilty about your baby being in the NICU, know that you are not alone. Many other moms have gone through this exact same thing and they understand how you are feeling. There is no need to feel guilty or ashamed – you are doing everything you can to help your baby.

When W was in the NICU, he had a roommate, and I ended up talking to his mom. We swapped our birth stories as well as what we were all planning on doing after our babies are discharged.

No one is ever alone in the NICU—we all shared stories of solidarity and bonded over our joys, fears, and the hope that everything would eventually be just fine.

Seize the opportunity to get ready for your baby’s homecoming

While your baby is being cared for in the NICU, you can use this period of time to make sure everything is ready for when your little one comes home.

Instead of feeling guilty about it, seize the opportunity!

Once you’re finished decorating the nursery and stocking up on diapers, all those extra touches will ensure you’re fully prepared for the big day. Don’t forget to look for the best clothes for NICU babies and, if applicable, begin researching childcare options so you can go back to work with peace of mind.

It’s also beneficial to get your maternity paperwork done during the NICU stays.

Even though it may be overwhelming at times, preparing yourself before bringing baby home from the NICU helps ease any stress and makes welcoming your baby home smoother.

Prioritize taking care of yourself as well as baby in the NICU

I was two weeks into my daily visit to the NICU and feeling guilty for not being able to do more. But then, as I was pulling into the hospital’s parking lot, I suddenly felt dizzy and had to quickly park in a handicapped spot and rest until it passed.

That’s when it struck me: all the traveling, pumping, and worrying had taken their toll on my physical and mental well-being without me even noticing.

So, ever since that day, I’ve made a conscious effort to not let guilt consume me but instead find ways for postpartum self-care so that I can bring peace of mind knowing that both my physical and mental health are taken care of. It’s been difficult at times but listening closely to how my body is feeling has truly helped me shift my perspective so that empowering guilt doesn’t take over.

Your baby knows you love them

The fact that you are reading this article proves that you care and want the best for your little one. You’ve come seeking comforting advice and ways to cope with what you’re going through, which shows just how devoted a mom you are.

Even though you may not be physically with your baby all the time, they can sense your love and your touch, which is helping to heal and make them strong.

When you have time away from the hospital, take advantage of that—ensure you get enough rest and relaxation in order to recharge and heal yourself. But when you visit your baby give 100%, and focus on being present in that moment. Your baby loves and appreciates it, even if they don’t yet know how to tell it.

You are doing everything you can

When the feelings of NICU mom guilt arise, just take a second to remind yourself that you are doing everything humanly possible for your baby. You’re surviving the NICU, doing your best to increase your milk supply, and visiting them every day with loads of love and care.

You’re your baby’s biggest advocate and they know that even if words can’t express it yet! So don’t overwhelm yourself with unnecessary guilt, accept that you are doing the most you can to get your little one through this tough stage of life.

Know that it is not your fault

It’s easy to blame yourself for your baby being in the NICU, but you need to remember that it isn’t your fault.

When I was told that I had suffered from a placenta abruption I immediately felt like I should have known the risk. If I had gained more weight during my pregnancy the outcome would have been different. If I had checked into the hospital earlier, my baby wouldn’t suffer brain trauma at birth.

These thoughts are totally natural but unfortunately completely fruitless. There are situations where no one could have predicted the outcome or prevented it. So give yourself a break, take deep breaths, and know that sometimes these things just happen.

Have someone to talk to

Overcoming the NICU mom guilt can be an incredibly challenging journey. Having a great support system is essential and starts with talking to your partner – they’ll always listen.

It’s also beneficial to reach out to your ob-gyn and NICU nurses as they can provide so much insight you may be missing. If this isn’t enough, many hospitals offer visits from social workers, NICU support teams or a pastor to help express any feelings you are going through.

When I was at the Children’s hospital, I had several opportunities to talk through my emotions and it was such a weight off my shoulders (and heart!).

Connecting with people who understand and want what’s best for you is key on the long road of overcoming NICU mom guilt.

It’s ok to show your emotions

There are times when you may be feeling overwhelmed, sad, scared, or just downright frustrated about the situation that your baby is in. It can be so easy to bottle up these emotions, but letting out those tears can often be one of the best things that you can do for yourself.

I know from experience that it’s perfectly normal and healthy to cry in front of your NICU doctor or nurse if that’s what helps you cope. Even though at first it felt uncomfortable for me to let my true emotions show like this, I eventually learned that nobody was judging me for it – they only wanted me to have the best possible outcome for my child.

Showing your emotions in situations like these can make all the difference in the world when it comes to coping with NICU mom guilt!

This is just a temporary situation

It’s important to remember that this trying time will eventually end. Your baby is strong and resilient and will soon be back with you where they belong.

Reminding yourself of the end goal – a healthy baby at home – can help relax the weight and guilt you may be holding onto.

To make sure you’re able to deal with your thoughts, allow yourself some alone time every day to process what you are going through, It’s normal and it won’t last forever.

Last thing you need to know about NICU mom guilt

You are not alone in your journey as a NICU mom. And even though it’s hard, you’re doing an amazing job. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself some grace. These tips should help you feel just a little bit better about yourself and hopefully lessen the load of NICU mom guilt that you may be carrying around.

If you have any other tips or want to share your story, please leave a comments below.

NICU mom guilt related articles

• The Ultimate Guide To Surviving The NICU
• 13 Tips to pump more milk for the NICU baby
• 17 Best Preemie Clothes For NICU That Are Perfect For Your Littlest One
• 9 Things to do before bringing baby home from the NICU
• Best infant toys for development (0-3 months)

11 Tips to work though the NICU mom guilt while navigating life in the NICU

The post How I overcame the NICU mom guilt while surviving the NICU appeared first on SoCal Mommy Life.

I know mama, I’ve been there too.

Baby W wasn’t breathing when he came out 5 weeks early. The doctors resuscitated him for 6 minutes until he came back to life. Due to the brain trauma he suffered, he stayed in the NICU for 44 days. I didn’t know if he’ll make it or ever be “normal”.

I found strength through learning from the resources offered by the hospital. I’m proud to say that I survived the NICU!

I applied exactly what I learned when Baby #2 had to stay in the NICU. I don’t feel defeated and the short NICU stay didn’t stress me a bit.

This guide will help to ease some of that stress when surviving the NICU. You’ll learn everything from taking care of yourself to caring for your baby while they’re there.

With this guide, you’ll feel like a pro when it comes to surviving the NICU!

_{This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.}

Strategies For Thriving and Surviving The NICU

Know your resources in the NICU

You are probably overwhelmed and beginning to accept the fact that your little bundle of joy is sick. It’s ok to take a few days to digest what just happened. But at the same time, find your resources and support.

NICU Nurses Will Be Your Best Resources

There is always a nurse assigned to care for your baby. You can ask her practically about anything from your baby’s health status, getting supplies for you, and scheduling appointments with specialists.

Every day at the NICU, I would ask our nurse what Baby W’s weight was and how much he ate during the night. Since I pump in the NICU, I asked for bags of milk containers and gave her my expressed milk to put in the hospital’s refrigerator. I also requested to see the lactation consultant through the nurse.

These are just a few things I’ve requested help with so don’t be afraid to ask your nurse about anything.

We were so blessed that all of Baby W’s NICU nurses were very professional. If by any means you are not 100% satisfied with any of the nurses, don’t be afraid to speak up.

You have the right to talk to the nursing manager about your baby’s nurse.

Attend Daily Physician Roundings

If you are like me, having your baby transferred to a highly specialized teaching hospital for children (aka Children’s Hospital) from where you delivered, you will be introduced to a hierarchy of doctors.

Attending physicians are senior doctors directly responsible for medical decision-making and treatment. Every day, they lead a group of less senior doctors such as fellows, residents, and sometimes medical students to discuss the treatment plan for the day during rounding.

Other healthcare professionals such as nurses, dietitians, pharmacists, respiratory specialists, and other specialists in charge of your baby’s care may be present.

Since roundings take place in your baby’s room, it is very important to listen in and ask any questions you may have. For both of my babies, I attended the roundings every day in the NICU.

Get In Touch With A Social Worker

Another resource worth mentioning is social workers. They are trained professionals to help families cope with baby’s NICU stay. They are a great resource because they help families get information about the baby’s medical condition, give emotional support, help families work with medical insurance issues, and help plan for when the baby comes home.

You will most likely be introduced to a social worker during your first day at the NICU. Our social worker was particularly helpful. She even got us discounted parking!

Visit your NICU baby every day

Some NICUs have visiting hours while some allow you to sleep in the same room as your baby. Either way, be present for as long as your schedule allows! I’m fortunate that we live about 15 miles away from the Children’s Hospital and the NICU accommodates parents’ overnight stay. 

Although I never stayed overnight, for the reasons explained below, I visited Baby W every day. I read, sang, do kangaroo care, and talked to him whenever he was awake.

Even if your baby is in the incubator and you can’t touch or hold her, she knows you are there for her.

Baby W’s NICU roommate was in the incubator and his mom was there all day and night. She touches her tiny baby through the incubator opening and sees him eye to eye. As if he knows mommy wanted to hold him so badly, he thrived and was out of the incubator in no time!

NICU babies need extra TLC so be there for them!

Tips for visiting a preemie in an incubator

• Before touching the incubator, wash your hands up to your elbows with warm soapy water.
• Put both hands on the incubator and tell your baby “mommy and daddy are here to see you”! 
• If the incubator is covered with blankets, open the side on the rear end first. This way, your baby can get used to the light.
• Carefully put both hands on the baby. Never stroke their skin since a preemie’s nervous system is not fully developed. You want to touch your baby to make her feel calm, cared for, and loved.

Do Kangaroo care with the NICU baby

I can’t say how important it is to do skin-to-skin or kangaroo care with your hospitalized baby. Research has shown that putting a naked diapered baby to the bare chest (yes dads can do it too!) in an upright position has numerous benefits to both baby and parent.

Benefits Of Doing Kangaroo Care

A few benefits include stabilizing the baby’s heart and respiratory rates, improving oxygen saturation rates, and better regulating the baby’s body temperature which are all typical challenges of NICU babies. When the baby is placed skin-to-skin with her mother, the breast has shown in research to change the temperature in order to accommodate the baby’s own body temperature.

The baby usually falls asleep within minutes during kangaroo care because of the reminiscence of the womb.

One of the best benefits of doing kangaroo care is increased breast milk supply. As soon as you get clearance from the nurse or doctor to do skin-to-skin, go ahead and do it as long as you want!

A few tips on kangaroo care in the NICU

• Ask the nurse for a comfortable nursing chair: It is basically a reclining couch with heavy padding ideal for breastfeeding. You never know if your hospital has it. I didn’t find out that our NICU has it weeks after until one of the nurses asked me if I want to sit in one!
• Skin-to-skin 30 minutes to 1 hour every 3 hours: If your baby’s condition allows, do at least 30 minutes every skin-to-skin session. During our NICU stay, Baby W feeds every 3 hours. Since he always falls asleep on my bare chest, we do skin-to-skin about an hour before his feeding time so that he can feed after a good hour-long sleep.
• Kangaroo care with Boppy pillow made easy: The boppy pillow is such a genius invention. When kangarooing, you can rest your elbows on the pillow, alleviating strain on your shoulders and neck while holding the baby for an extended period of time. If your baby is small like Baby W (a 4-pounder), he can sit on the boppy and feel even more snugly with the pillow wrapped around his butt. On a side note, if you don’t have a nursing pillow yet I highly recommend the Original Boppy Pillow. After your baby goes home, you can use it to help him achieve his developmental milestones!
• Wear a button-down shirt or use a nursing cover: Every NICU staff encourages kangaroo care, but if you don’t want your boobs hanging out while you share your golden moments with your baby, like me, you can wear a button-down shirt or dress. So I put the poppy on my waist, unbutton my shirt (but still keep it closed), bring the baby close to me, open one side of the shirt, and tuck the baby in while opening the other side of the shirt. If I wear a nursing cover, I just take off my shirt completely and put the baby under the nursing cover. I highly recommend this nursing cover since it can be converted into a car seat cover.

How to establish breast milk supply for the NICU baby

What is the best nutrition for a NICU baby? Yup, it’s mother’s milk!

It’s true, mother’s milk changes the composition according to baby’s needs proven by this viral post. If you are worried about your underweight baby, human milk fortifier (HMF) may be added for more caloric breast milk.

Whether you are still waiting for your milk to come in or have already established your supply, pump! pump! pump! to get those liquid gold flowing!

I used to pump every 2.5 hours (including nights) for the first 2 months and was able to establish a mini stash. Most hospitals have lactation consultations, so be sure to ask for one if you have any issues with milk production.  

RELATED POST: 5 Incredible Mother’s Milk Tea Benefits: Discover Why Nursing Moms Swear By It

Tips And Tricks On Getting More Breast Milk Supply

I use the LactaMed Simplicity Hands-Free Pumping Bra Kit rather than a hands-free pumping bra for many reasons. The kit is way cheaper, more compact, more durable,  easy to wash, and one size fits all. Most importantly, you can massage your breasts while pumping.

Massage while pumping will get more milk out in less time. Watch this video on how to do hands-free massage.

There are so many tips and tricks out there on how to pump more milk but what worked well for me was a warm compress prior to pumping and breast massage during pumping.  Like the phenomenon, heat expands while cold contrasts. Apply a warm compress (such as a warm towel or a breast heat pack) to the breasts to expand all the blood vessels in the breast.

This increases blood circulation and stimulates milk ducts herby activates let down. 

When the breast milk starts to follow, gently massage the breasts to get as much milk out from the ducts. This will produce more expressed milk otherwise contained in milk ducts.

RELATED POST:  How to pump more breast milk for the NICU baby

Massage your NICU baby daily

There are significant evidence-based research findings on the advantages of infant massage. To name a few, massaging your baby can facilitate weight gain in preemies, lowers the stress hormone, increases muscle tone, improves sleep/wake patterns, and support parent-infant interaction.

It’s best to massage your baby on his bare skin. However, you may still apply pressure points with clothes on. Always wash your hands or sanitize before you begin and make sure your hands are warm before you touch your baby.

If you wish to use massage oils, use fragrance-free food-grade oils such as this organic coconut oil.

Before you begin, tell your baby, “mommy (or daddy) is going to give you a world-class massage!”

• Technique 1 – Stride along the spine: Place baby on his tummy or slightly sit up. starting from below the neck, firmly but gently stride your palm along with your baby’s spine.

• Technique 2 – Circles along with back muscles: Place baby on her tummy or slightly sit up. use your middle finger and draw firm but gently circles along both sides of her spine.

• Technique 3 – milking the limbs: Hold your hand in a “C” shape while stroking your baby’s limbs.

• Technique 4 – foot massage: Starting from the bottom of the foot, move your thumbs to gently press upwards toward the toes.

• Technique 5 – relax jaw muscles: If your baby is feeding by mouth, stroke along her jaw muscles can help release tension from sucking.

• Technique 6 – between eyebrows: pressing the space between eyebrows has a relaxing effect. Gently but firmly press on this special spot with your thumb and stride up to the forehead and down to the nose.

These are just a few massage techniques I’ve learned while surviving the NICU. Ask your nurse or therapists before you perform any messages on your baby.

RELATED POST: 8 Things to do before bringing baby home from the NICU

Learn basic baby care from the pros

Since Baby W is our first baby, we learned so much about baby 101 from our nurses. Through the NICU boot camp, we learned diaper changing, bathing, bottle feeding, dressing, taking temperature and much more. Don’t be shy to ask your nurse to teach you anything you want to know so you can be an expert on caring for your baby even before he gets home!

Have your NICU baby look at black and white cards

Babies LOVE preliminary colors like black, white, and red. Since they can’t see very well, bold pictures with contrasting colors will stimulate their eyesight development.

I downloaded my free infant stimulation cards here. You can line them up on both sides of your baby’s bed and he will be so enticed. 

RELATED POST: Developmental Activities for a Smart Baby (0 to 3 months)

Take care of yourself

As if having a NICU baby isn’t stressful enough, visiting her, getting to know her, doing skin-to-skin, and pumping in the middle of the night can really take a toll on your health. I knew from day one that the best thing I can do is to provide Baby W with the best nutrition – my breast milk. Since stress can adversely affect milk supply, I chose to not stay overnight at the hospital so I don’t burn myself out.

I usually go home around 8 pm and got plenty of sleep albeit waking up twice in the middle of the night to pump. I kept myself hydrated with at least 64 ounces of water every day. Last but not least,  I also ate a good diet full of protein, good fats, and some extra carbs.

As far as supplements go, I found fenugreek worked wonders in upping my milk supply. I take 2 capsules 3 times a day and I can totally see the difference on the days I forgot to take them. If you are struggling with milk supply, read my tips on how I established a mini freezer stash when Baby W was still in the NICU!

At times when I feel engorged, lecithin has helped tremendously. My engorgement would clear up after taking lecithin for just 1 day. Also, taking postnatal vitamins every day is a must. The special blends of postnatal vitamins are optimal for postpartum recovery and provide the unique nutritional needs of breastfeeding women. I used to take Mother’s Select postnatal but later fell in love with New Chapter postnatal. These postnatal are expertly formulated for new moms. They contain the perfect vitamins & minerals to support lactation, energy, and mood. It’s made with organic, non-GMO ingredients. Just a week after taking the New Chapter postnatal, I felt more energetic and saw a real boost in my milk supply!

I hope these tips on surviving the NICU are helpful. Leave a comment if you have any questions

Hang in there strong mama! Sending you lots of love for you and your baby!

This post was all about surviving the NICU.

Surviving the NICU Related Posts

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• How to conquer the NICU mom guilt while surviving the NICU
• 17 Best Preemie Clothes For NICU That Are Perfect For Your Littlest One
• 8 Things to do before bringing baby home from the NICU
• 21 Brain-Boosting Developmental Activities For Infants (0-3 Months)
• Best Infant Toys (0-3 Months)

The Ultimate Guide To Surviving The NICU

The post The Ultimate Guide To Surviving The NICU appeared first on SoCal Mommy Life.

Baby W had a dramatic entry to the world and ended up staying in the NICU for 44 days.  Just about a week into his stay, I was already getting ready for him to come home because I was desperate to bring him home.

As organized and somewhat obsessive-compulsive as I am, I just want to be sure I have everything prepared for that special day. As a twice NICU mom, I’ve listed the most important things to consider when bringing a preemie home from the NICU.

_{This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.}

Get organized with your preemie’s documents

When Baby W was in the NICU, I inherited piles of documents including the NICU welcome handbook, MRI scans, consent forms, caring instructions, feeding guides… and the list goes on.  

I knew that there will be a lot more documents to come so I filed all of Baby W’s related documents in an accordion file organizer. As we begin to see different specialists outside of the NICU, I started filing all the records we had compiled. I love it that all of Baby W’s documents are in one place and I know exactly where to find them.

Put all doctor’s appointments on your calendar

NICU baby needs extra TLC to ensure that he stays healthy after getting home. This is especially important when it comes to keeping up with all the necessary doctor’s appointments.

If you all need to see the pediatrician, you’re in the lucky bunch! However, If your baby needs to be followed by different specialists, make sure that you start scheduling them now and put all the appointment reminders on your calendar so you won’t forget!

Prior to Baby W’s discharge, we were told he needed to be followed by the pediatrician, hematologist, orthopedic, neurologist, pulmonologist, and the high-risk infant clinic. There are specific timeframes he needs to see each doctor (for example, seeing the pediatrician within 5 days after discharge) so I started making appointments with the doctor’s offices while Baby W was still in the NICU

RELATED POST: 13 Tips to pump more milk for the NICU baby no one tells you about

Apply for the early intervention program

Early intervention programs are designed for children younger than 3 years old and at risk for developmental delays. The state-funded program consists of therapists, specialists, service coordinators, and clinicians to provide assessment and services for children at risk for delays.  

Since the infant’s brain is still developing, teaching babies key skills early on can help with catching up on their development faster. 

Ask your NICU nurse if your baby may be eligible for the state-funded early intervention program so your baby can start receiving services. Each state has its own program for early intervention. In California, the program is funded by the Department of Developmental Services and it’s called Early Start.

Prior to Baby W’s discharge, his nurse recommended we apply for the Early Start program. Since it can take a couple of months before our little boy starts receiving services, I applied to the program right away. 

Baby W has physical therapy, occupational therapy, and child development sessions every week. All the therapists came to our home so it was very convenient for us. His initial assessment placed him 3 months developmentally delayed. After 6 months of therapy, he’s now all caught up!

I honestly feel that if it weren’t for the early intervention therapies, he wouldn’t be doing so well so fast.  

Create medical history form

A medical history form is like a resume for your baby’s health status.  Within a page, it includes parents’ contact information, pediatrician and/or specialist’s contact information, medical history, insurance information, and current medication.

I place Baby W’s medical history form in the diaper bag so we have it at all times when we’re with him.  The medical history form can be useful in case of emergencies and visit new doctors.

There are many free child medical history forms you can find online.

Install car seat before bringing a preemie home

The most important thing can be easily overlooked when getting your baby to be discharged. For new parents like us, we had to learn how to install the car seat. So, before bringing a preemie home make sure you properly install that car seat and learn how to use it.

Depending on where you live, your NICU may require a “car seat test” to see how your baby behaves in the car seat. For Baby W, he needs to remain in the car seat with no panic attacks for at least 60 minutes. He will need to repeat the test the next day if his alarm starts beeping. Luckily, he passed the test in a breeze.

Keep up with milk supply

Breast milk is the optimal nutrition for a baby, especially for a hospitalized one. I understand how difficult it is to pump or breastfeed while dealing with the physical and mental stress the NICU can bring. However, to help your baby grow and develop, keep up with your pumping schedule even after you bring your baby home.

If you are struggling to get your milk supply up, check out how to pump more milk for the NICU baby to get some amazing tips. I was able to create a mini freezer stash by applying all the tips I mentioned in this post.

Start to look into child care

Looking into childcare was definitely not on my priority list after we bring Baby W home.

Since I took 4 months off from work, I still got more than 2 months to get the childcare situation figured out prior to returning to work. I guess I’ll just start looking for daycare a week before I head back to work.

Guess what, all daycare centers I called had an average of 6 months waitlist!

So, to ensure a smooth transition from your maternity leave back to work, decide on early child care.

Setup a cozy nursery before bringing a preemie home

You may be in the middle of setting up the nursery or even haven’t started decorating when your baby arrived in this world.

While you take a break from the NICU, be sure to set up a cozy nursery for when you bring your preemie home. Make sure you have everything you need to care for your preemie close at hand, including soft bedding for their delicate skin and a nursing chair for kangaroo care. With a little preparation, you can create a safe and nurturing space for your preemie to thrive.

RELATED POST: 17 newborn baby room decorating ideas you need to steal now

Get ready for the first night home from the NICU

Despite going home on oxygen, Baby W was rather healthy when he got discharged. However, he was still a preemie and underweight.

In the NICU, he was monitored for his vitals. The alarm beeps at the slightest increase in blood pressure from crying (a nice way to know it’s time for a diaper change).

At home, there was no alarm to tell us if he was getting enough oxygen or if there is an issue with his blood pressure. Home care for a preemie, especially a low birth weight baby, can somewhat be frightening for parents. You should receive discharge instructions on how to care for your baby at home and things to caution on.

To name a few:

• I’ve kept my home warmer than usual (72 degrees Celsius)
• Buy preemie size diapers (I love Pampers Swaddlers and it’s the same brand our hospital uses)
• Feed every 2 hours with my fortified breast milk (I added Poly-Vi-Sol With Iron supplement to every bottle
• Last but not least, treat my preemie like a normal, healthy kid as he is now.

Without a doubt, you and your baby have been through so much in the NICU. Bringing them home is just the beginning of awesome motherhood.

Leave a comment and let me know what you’ve done to get that bundle of joy to come home.

This post was all about bringing a preemie home from the NICU.

Bringing a preemie home related posts

• The Ultimate Guide To Surviving The NICU
• How I overcame the NICU mom guilt while surviving the NICU
• Best Preemie Clothes For The NICU
• 13 Tips to pump more milk for the NICU baby
• 17 newborn baby room decorating ideas you need to steal now
• 21 Brain-Boosting Developmental Activities For Infants (0-3 Months)

The post 8 Things to do before bringing a preemie home from the NICU appeared first on SoCal Mommy Life.