Potty training a stubborn child can feel like an impossible task.

I get it.

I did the “bare-bottom” method, the “potty train in 3 days” method, the “potty party” method,… and my son is still not toilet trained at age 3.

It took my stubborn toddler almost 5 months to know how to use the toilet. I came to realize that there are strategies that will work, you just need to find what works best for your child.

Here are the tips that worked for me and my stubborn 3 year old. Hopefully, they help you too!

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This post is all about potty training a stubborn child

Understand Your Child’s Personality And Motivations

Knowing what motivates your child is a crucial step towards potty training success. Every kid responds differently to praise, rewards, and different styles of teaching. Understanding what resonates with your child will help you know when to be persistent and when to back off completely.

For example, my son loves anything with wheels so we got him a paw patrol toilet seat and reward him with car stickers when he uses the toilet.

If you take some time to figure out what your child likes and dislikes, you’ll be in a much better place to help them master potty training.

Determine The Correct Expression For Using The Toilet

All caregivers should use the same language when teaching kids on using the toilet. For example, “go pee-pee or poo-poo”.

This is especially important for multi-lingual families.

Alos, the word for using the toilet may be different at home and at school. It may confuse or delay your child to communicate about using the toilet before they go if different words are used to describe the same thing.

So, communicate with your family members and caregivers. Make sure that everyone uses the same phrases when potty training a stubborn child.

Have All Potty Training Tools And Supplies Ready To Go

Although you can technically put your child on the toilet directly, it is very uncomfortable for them as our toilet is too big for their tiny bodies. Besides, the “hole” in the toilet can be intimating to most kids.

To minimize their sense of insecurity, provide a potty training toilet that is designed for them. You can put their name or even stickers on the toilet so that they feel that the toilet belongs to them.

I have found that most potty training toilets are designed for smaller kids. If your child is too big for the training toilet, try to use a toilet seat instead. Also, put a small stool in front of the toilet so that his legs are not hanging on the toilet. This will give him a better sense of security.

Try not to hold your child while on the toilet as much as possible. This is to establish a sense of independence and self-control in the potty environment.

Having some flushable wipes handy takes the stress out of toilet training. We love the Kandoo flushable wipes because it’s very gentle and wipes much better than toilet paper. The wipes are smaller than your standard wet wipes, making it easier for small hands to use.

Put The Training Toilet In The Bathroom

Placing the training toilet in the bathroom will make the transition to using the real toilet much easier. You want your child to associate using the toilet with the bathroom, not the playroom, bedroom, living room, etc.

Also, if you are unsuccessful with a training toilet, give it some time before you try another brand or switch to using the toilet seat altogether.

Switching training toilets may cause confusion and insecurity, making potty training more difficult for your child.

Make Potty Training Fun And Comfortable

Encourage your child to sit on the training toilet with pants on as a start. Read books, play with toys or sing songs to make her feel that sitting on the toilet is fun. The last thing you want is to have your child associate stress with using the potty.

If there are older kids at home, have your child observe how easy it is to use the toilet. Kids learn best by observing other kids!

Teach Your Child To Associate Elimination With Using The Potty

Encourage your child to take off his own pants and then sit on the potty chair or toilet seat. Try to explain to him that when the diaper is wet, we take off our pants and sit on the potty.

When your child has a soiled diaper, you can throw the poop in the potty to show him where his waste belongs.

Teaching your child to make the connection between their waste with the potty is very important, and many parents ignore this step.

Throwing away soiled diapers immediately will greatly reduce your child’s chance of quitting diapers because she never knows the purpose of using the potty – which is to replace diapers.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

The goal is to have your child use the potty every time he is awake. When he pee or poop in the toilet, give lots of praise! Slowly train your child to tell you the need to go. If he hasn’t peed in the past 3 hours, ask him whether he wants to go. If your child usually has a bowel movement at a certain time of the day, ask him whether he needs to poop.

Potty training a stubborn child can take 6 months or longer. So when accidents happen, don’t get angry or show your disappointment.

Follow Dad To The Restroom When Potty Training A Stubborn Boy

Kids learn best by example. If you want to potty train a stubborn boy, have him follow dad to the restroom. This is especially effective if you want to train your son on how to pee standing up.

We taught our son how to pee sitting down and also standing up during the same time. Through this process, we eliminate power struggles and unnecessary fightbacks. Baby W actually learned how to pee both ways at the same time!

Make The Transition To Wearing Cotton Underwear

During the early phases of potty training, you can have your child wear pull-ups. Pull-ups are less absorbent than diapers and allow kids to pull up or down to encourage independence.

After a few days of successful potty training, transition to wearing cotton underwear. If accidents happen all the time, go back to wearing pull-ups.

Never rush to quit diapers or have your child wear a wet diaper for an extended period of time as a punishment.

Let Your Toddler Help You Choose His Own Potty Training Underwear

Your toddler is more likely to be excited about wearing underwear if she is involved in the choosing process.

Bring her with you when shopping for potty training supplies and let her choose her own potty training underwear. This step can also help kids feel less intimidated by the prospect of moving to a big kid toilet since they’ll see it as a choice that they made.

If you don’t want to spend money on new underwear, finding some special stickers and letting your child decorate her old undies works just as well.

Potty training is a delicate process and can take up to 6 months for your stubborn child to master using the toilet independently. It is inevitable to encounter setbacks, so use your positivity and patience as you support your child in learning this new skill!

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Best Tips For Potty Training A Stubborn Child From A Mom Who Tried It All

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The post Best Tips For Potty Training A Stubborn Child From A Mom Who Tried It All appeared first on SoCal Mommy Life.

The frustrating journey of toilet training a child is a struggle every parent faces, especially if the child is not toilet trained after 2 years-old. We moms often find ourselves paying too much attention to whether our child is behind his peers, potty training included. We start to panic as soon as there is some sign of “lagging behind.”

I didn’t start potty training Baby Chunbao until he was 2.5 years-old because he wasn’t showing any signs of readiness until then.

After doing my own reach, reading up on potty training books, consulting with Baby Chunbao’s therapists, and daycare teachers, I realized that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. There are plenty of potty training methods out there such as the ” 3-day potty training” and”rewards method”, but they may not work for every child.

However, there are a few underlying principles to successful potty training. Keep reading to find out how to clear the way for your child’s eventual mastery in potty learning!

_{This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure here.}

When should I start potty training my child?

There is no hard- stop date on when potty training should begin. Different cultures have different perspectives on when this journey should start. In my culture, parents, including my mom-in-law “potty train” their kids as early as 6 months teaching them how to poop or pee on a pile of newspapers!

While this may work for some kids, the AAFP recommends that training being after 18 months old using a potty-chair AND parents assess readiness by looking for signs that suggest interest in toilet training.

Signs of potty training readiness

Before start potty training your child, make sure that she is showing signs of potty training readiness. Potty training before a child is ready can backfire on your efforts. It may also take longer for a child to be potty trained if she is not ready yet. If your child is showing most of the signs below, then she is ready to be potty trained!

• Interest in the toilet (what it does, how it works) or follows others such as mom or dad when using the toilet
• Dry diaper changes or stays dry for a long while. Mostly wet or dirty diapers after meals
• Tries to hide when the child is having a bowel movement
• Dislikes having wet or soiled diapers
• Wants to stand instead of sit after a bowel movement
• Interest in wearing underwear
• Is able to verbally tell you when needs to use the toilet. Or, able to let you know if she has a wet or soiled diaper
• Tries to have a bowel movement in the same spot most days

What you need to get started with potty training

Choose the right timing

Before you start the journey of potty training, make sure that there is no disruption to your family’s daily schedule. This means no travel, no major life events such as moving, changing schools, or the birth of a sibling. Potty training is a delicate process so assist your child by providing him the necessary support.

Loose fitting clothes

Your child needs loose-fitting clothes that can be pulled up and down, taken off, and put on by your child. The desire to use the toilet stems from a need to be independent, so giving your child practical clothes reduces frustration in this process.

Avoid clothing that gets in the way of using the toilet, such as overalls, onesies, any clothing with snaps or buttons, and dresses/skirts that may get in the way when using the toilet.

Cute cotton training pants

Encourage your child to wear cotton training pants. Pull-ups may sound like a great idea but technically, they are still diapers. They wick away moisture so effectively that they discourage a child from remembering to urinate in the toilet. Having your child wear pull-ups may confuse or delay toilet learning. So, stick with cotton underwear and be ready to wash them when accidents happen!

You can also buy training pants that have the designs your child likes. This will spark their interest and have less resistance in wearing them. Baby Chunbao is infatuated with Cars, so got him Cars underwear and he wears them without a fuss.

Potty training seat

Having a potty training seat that your child likes is key to successful potty training. Other than for safety reasons, a potty training seat will allow your child to gain confidence when using the bathroom as a beginner.

There are 3 main types of potty training seat and you may have to experience a few to find the one your child accepts.

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The realistic potty training toilet looks and feels like an adult toilet. Some even makes flushing sound! This kind of potty training toilet will make kids feel more secure because it is lower and their feet is on the ground. Due to it’s realistic appearance, it may build confidence when transition to the real thing.

The downside is that this kind of potty training toilet tends to be on the smaller side. So, I don’t recommend it for potty training older or bigger kids. Make sure you check the dimensions of the toilet before you make the purchase.

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Another popular type of potty training seat is a seat with step stool attached. Your baby can step up and hold on to the toilet, which promotes independence.

Although sturdy in design, the seat with step stool can be bulky and hard to transport.

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The soft potty training seat is also loved by parents. The portable design is great for on-the-go potty training and they come with all sorts of cute designs.

Since this is a seat that you place on top of the toilet, your child may dislike not be able to feel the floor when doing his business. You may need to place a step stool for him to feel more secure.

Tips for successful potty training

Tip #1: Ask your child to use the toilet often

Try to choose an inviting time period such as after a meal, around 10 am, after a nap, or before the shower. No matter which time you choose, your child should feel comfortable and relaxed sitting on the toilet.

Also, invite your child to go to the bathroom without making it sound like a command. Rather than ask a yes/no question like, “Do you need to go potty?” try a brief statement, “Let’s go try the toilet“, or “I see that you’re awake; let’s go to the bathroom.”

Even if your child doesn’t want to use the toilet, simply remind and encourage. It is normal for anyone, even adults, to be out of the comfort zone. But as a parent, our task is to encourage and ensure that there is nothing to be afraid of when it comes to trying something new.

Try to avoid forcing your child to be on the toilet if she resists, as this is a delicate time in your child’s growth toward independence!

Offering limited choices can also be effective, “Do you want to go to the toilet now, or after you’ve put your socks on?”

Tip #2: Grasp the perfect time to use the toilet

Seizing the moment when your child wants to pee or poop is a major stepping stone for training to use the toilet. For example, when the child wakes in the morning or from the nap, and the diaper is dry, this is the perfect time to toilet train.

Also, if your child has a regular bowel movement around the same time each day, this is a great opportunity to bring your child to use the potty. Baby Chunbao almost always poops around 9:30 am so he learned how to poop in the toilet before he knows how to pee!

Tip #3: Give your child the power of control

We may think that it’s our job to “toilet train” our kids, that we are the ones in charge of this important transition in our kid’s lives. However, since most kids give up their diaper during their toddler years – a time when they are programmed to balk at our ideas – it can be helpful to shift our thinking from “toilet training” to “toilet learning” in which kids are the ones taking the lead.

As much as you can, set your anxiety aside, avoid pushing, and let your child set the pace. Have your child choose her underwear, pull down her pants, let her flush the toilet are all examples that provide your child the needed independence.

Tip #4: Avoid using derogatory comments

Elimination is a natural part of life, so avoid discussing toileting with any derogatory comments, such as “Eww, it stinks,” or “You made such a big mess!”

It is also important to refrain from using terms like “good” and “bad” and to avoid showing anger or disappointment over a “wet event.”

Try to use mildly positive, factual observations like, “You have been dry the whole day” or “You’re using the toilet just like Mom and Dad!”

Tip #5: Focus on potty in the toilet

The toilet is not a place for playing, socializing, reading books, etc. The longer you linger, the more your child might lose focus as to why she is there.

At the beginning of potty training, you can sing a song or talk to your child if he fusses. But, if he continues to get agitated, put him down and assure him it’s ok if he doesn’t want to try the toilet.

Tip #6: Be a model to your child

Your child wants to be like you! Modeling the toilet at home will help your child feel more comfortable when he is ready for this natural part of life. Baby Chunbao followed me to the bathroom sometimes and one day during potty training, he tears a bathroom tissue and pretends to wipe himself (even though he doesn’t need to) and flush it down the toilet!

The last thing you need to know about potty training

Know when your child is ready for potty training along with having the right gears and being a facilitator rather than a “trainer” are the keys to successful toilet training.

Remember to always finish with hand washing, as this will instill a healthy habit once your child is toileting independently. If your child refuses to use the toilet, avoid a power struggle, and try another time. Patience and understanding go a long way, and consistency without pressure will help your child achieve success!

Have a question? Leave a comment below!

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